


I Keep Waiting Like You Might Change My Mind

by KikoRush96



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Awkwardness, Chris is his hero, Confessions, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 05:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13207308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KikoRush96/pseuds/KikoRush96
Summary: AJ just couldn't help that feeling, deep down, of utter unimportance. That he didn't matter to his brothers and sisters on the show. That they, along with the fans, didn't care whether he showed up or not. He knew it was stupid to feel this way, especially as a champ and a very accomplished wrestler elsewhere, but there it was.Chris sees this and, after the show, tries to comfort the dejected Georgia native.





	I Keep Waiting Like You Might Change My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Title from _The Other_ by LAUV
> 
> Now for the disclaimer. Obviously I know nothing of their actual lives or friends. I do not claim to own WWE, AJ Styles, Chris Jericho, etc. The story is 100% made up.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and suggestions are always appreciated! Xx

That was probably the most humiliating thing he's ever done in his entire life. He sometimes wondered if he had a brain under that gorgeous hair (the fans words) of his, because if he did, he certainly would not have laid his inner most fears and doubts on the table for the whole WWE Universe to see (and judge).

He was supposed to be this ‘tough ole redneck’ who came in the WWE to replace Cena (not that he actually thought he could; it's just the character he was given), not this insecure man who, under all his bravado as WWE champ, was scared and a little unsure of his place amongst the coworkers he shared the stage with.

Real smooth Styles. Why didn't you just write I'm a helpless crybaby on your forehead; it would have been less embarrassing.

As he changed out of his ring gear, opting to leave his bright blue P1 shirt on so he could get out of the arena faster, he heard his phone going off in his locker. Face scrunching up into a confused look, he dropped his neatly folded tights into his duffle bag and picked up his phone to see who was texting.

_5 New Messages From Bon Jovi Hair :P_

AJ rolled his eyes fondly at the contact name Chris had programmed into his phone a little while after his debut at the Royal Rumble a year ago. Wow...how time had just flown by.

He shouldered his bag and took long gulps from his water bottle as he unlocked his phone, curious as to what Chris was messaging him about so late into the night. Knowing him, it could be anything from a funny fan edit, to something really serious; something that would keep them up late into the night, tears clouding their vision but remaining unshed because we're men, dammit, and men don't cry Styles!

(Chris then would go on to cry a little, though AJ never did. Not on the phone.)

Shoving through the door leading to his rental pickup truck, he tapped on the messages and read them from the top down.

_Know you're working but GREAT WORK W/ CENA!!!! <3_

_Wow....that heart was cheesy as fuck. Ignore that._

_Omg just noticed it was a BLUE heart...now I'm doubly cheesy!!! #MrCheese_

_Ooooooo you're on talking smack Mr Champ that runs the Camp. Might tune in just to see that really hype guy...I mean you_

_Babe....everything okay there in the land of the blue? Seemed a little upset give me a call, k?_

AJ ducked his head in utter disappointment. This was absolutely freaking _great_. Even Chris, his best friend in the company, saw him make an ass of himself? That just topped it all off, didn't it? Now Chris was all worried about him (again) even though there wasn't anything really wrong with AJ; he was just feeling a little down because Cena was back and he was being faced with his real value to Smackdown Live (which was less than he'd been led to believe).

Who was he kidding when he walked out there each night, the crowds chanting his name, the guys backstage slapping his back with smiles aimed right at him, as the champ? He should have known he was just filling in the gap Cena left. He wasn't valued as a real fighting champ; barely as a wrestler. He'd grow to accept it.

Hopefully.

It didn't stop him from having to shove down this empty feeling threatening to take over his body as he climbed into his truck. He had to fight off tears the entire drive to the hotel he'd be staying in that night, where he'd probably toss and turn like he usually did (unless Chris was there to hold him and make him feel safe, though Chris didn't know about that, and AJ wanted to keep it that way).

As if the thought summoned the man, his phone began blaring some Fozzy song Chris insisted he download (and make his ringtone, the bastard). Touching the answer button on the steering wheel, he cleared his throat as the phone picked up.

"Styles! Why haven't you texted me?!" Chris sounded uncharacteristically upset and concerned, which made AJ feel even worse, if that was possible.

"I didn't stick 'round long after the show. Just hopped in the truck and started going. I'm sorry." He heard an unimpressed huff on the line, though hopefully the Canadian would just let it go. He was not in any mindset to have a deep chat over the phone.

"So you're driving right now then?" AJ changed lanes, the exit to his hotel nearing. He heard some movement on the other end of the phone, like Chris was trying to get comfortable.

"Yeah. Almost to my hotel. I’m so freaking exhausted man." Chris hummed in understanding, which made AJ smile a little bit. Of all the people in the company, Jericho was the one that just understood him- in a way others really couldn't. No matter what he attempted to say, or what crazy thing he was thinking, Chris would smile like AJ made perfect sense.

Honestly, the man was his saving grace.

"I wish we weren't on different shows now. I could be at your hotel door in two seconds flat, and we could listen to some music, or watch your ridiculous movies. Like we did back when Y2AJ was a thing." AJ smiled at the memory of them being a tag team; how well they worked in the ring together. They had unmatched chemistry, which is why it was no wonder AJ was absolutely gone for the Canadian singer/wrestler.

Not long after them teaming up did AJ finally shrug of his nerves long enough to admit his feelings, however new and strange to him, to the blonde during one of the many long drives they'd been on. Jericho, amazing as he was, took it all in stride, letting him down gently because I love ya man, but only as my best friend. AJ had been crushed, to tell the truth, but he'd accepted it because he was so utterly desperate to keep Jericho as his friend (and again, he was kind of nuts for the guy). He had been perfectly fine, still was, with Jericho not returning his feelings.

Well, he told himself that daily anyway.

"Hello??? Styles? You there??" AJ chuckled as Jericho kept calling him in that slightly nasal voice of his; the same voice that plagued his dreams.

"Yeah Chris I'm still here. Just lost in my head." There was a beat of silence before Chris spoke again, softer than before.

"Wanna talk about it?" AJ sighed, leaning back in his seat a little before nibbling on his lip. It had been ages since he'd brought up his unrequited feelings to the wrestler, figuring it would be mean since it obviously tore Chris up to have to let him down, but he was an awful liar.

Still, he'd made an ass of himself enough for one night.

"Just off in la la land Chris. Nothing to call the press about." A longer silence followed that, making AJ shift in his seat a little. He knew he sounded too much like he was trying to get Chris to change subjects, and it was confirmed when the older man responded.

"You really think I'm going to buy that bullshit, Allen? Do you think I was born yesterday? Now spill; and don't think I've forgotten my ignored messages." AJ smiled fondly at the rough but caring tone in Jericho's voice. How someone could be so brusque and sweet in the same sentence was beyond his understanding, but there it was. Chris was just one of a kind.

"Honestly? I was thinkin' 'bout us. Um..." He hated how that sounded; like they were a thing he could get lost thinking about. Trying to backtrack, he interrupted whatever Jericho was going to say.

"What I mean is...I was thinking of us as Y2AJ! All the good matches we had. And I, um, just-" He was interrupted by a loud laugh ringing through the cab of his truck. His heart stuttered slightly at the genuine sound, something not many actually got to hear. After a moment, Chris cleared his throat.

"Those were definitely some great times! I was just remembering your face when Vince said he wanted to pair us up! You were so mad!" AJ felt his cheeks warming at the memory. He'd been so cocky and stupid back then, he'd actually thought he could just come into WWE as the TNA star and go right to the top. Chris broke that in their first match together with a few real punches to let him know who the rookie was in that matchup.

He made AJ a better wrestler and a better man in such a short time. That in itself was earth moving to Styles.

"Ha ha. Like you were any happier than I was. Having to work with the new kid high on his own horse. I swear I was probably so annoying to work with." He heard Chris snicker.

"Was?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, so what hotel you in tonight?" AJ racked his brain for the name before he remembered what Dean had told him after the show.

"Holiday Inn down the road from the arena. About ten seconds from pulling into it actually." More shuffling on the other end of the line as he pulled into a parking spot and shut off the truck. He picked up his phone and stuck the earbuds in so he could talk to Chris hands free.

"What room?" That gave Styles some pause. Why the hell did that matter?

"Um....not sure yet. Gotta check in, remember? Us normal people anyway. I guess rockstars get their rooms from their tour managers." He loved teasing Jericho. Loved that the blonde never got upset, just rolled his eyes and shoved at his shoulder playfully.

"Don't be a smartass Styles!" He giggled a little, dragging his luggage into the lobby. Chris started softly singing some song AJ didn't recognize, filling his chilled body with warmth and forcing his lips into a stupid cheesy grin that caused the check-in girl to look at him funny. Rubbing the back of his neck in slight embarrassment, he looked to his left before back at the girl.

He must look like some twelve year old girl going on about her crush.

"I'm here for check in. Um, last name Styles. First name Allen? Or AJ?" The girl smiled a little at him as she typed the information into her computer before handing him some toiletries and his key card. Before he turned away, she pointed to his earbuds.

"Tell whoever she is that's she's a lucky girl. That smile you had earlier...I'd recognize it anywhere." His face was probably beet red, and he absently noticed Chris had stopped singing. The girl's smile grew into a full grin.

"Um...thanks? Have a good night." She nodded before attending to an angry looking man. AJ almost forgot he was on the phone, except there was a lot of noise coming from his earbuds now.

"Chris? What the hell are you doing? Sounds like you're in a wind tunnel!" A few beats of silence was all he got before a gruff nothing was shot at him. AJ's heart sank a little bit at the aggravated tone Jericho was using, all too sure he was the cause of the sudden mood change.

As he stepped into the elevator, he braced himself for the click of the line being cut. Surprisingly, it didn't happen.

"Who was that girl I heard and who the hell was she talking about?" Chris blurted out. AJ felt his eyes widen, even though he wasn't there to see. As it dawned on him what Chris was referring to, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Logically, Chris was probably worried about Styles ‘letting loose’ or whatever. Being a wrestler in the WWE had its drawbacks, though AJ didn't think he'd be able to look at another person the way he looked at Chris. Both figuratively and literally. That didn't mean Chris knew that; he probably thought AJ was over him by that point.

"The girl you heard was the check in lady. She was just saying some nonsense to me. I was, um, smiling when I walked in and I guess she thought I was talking to a girlfriend or something. I don't know." There was a huff on the line, though it was nearly drowned out by loud music playing in the background. Seriously, what was Chris doing?

"I'm in room 5C by the way. In case you still wanted to know. Um..." AJ trailed off, unsure of what to say. Exhaustion was taking over at a steady rate, making his brain slower than usual. He heard what he thought was a door slam on the other line as he finally opened the door to his room. He dropped his things on the table before carefully shutting the door behind him. As he was dragging his duffle bag (which contained his pajamas and toothbrush) to his room, Chris spoke again.

"There's no girl with you then? Just you?" AJ's tired brain couldn't make sense of what the Canadian was saying, so he simply confirmed that he was utterly and pathetically alone at the moment. No sense even pretending he wasn’t in a funk at the moment; Chris knew him too well anyway.

Silence on the line, aside from background noise, made him forget he even had earphones in after a few moments, slugging his bag into his bed and looking around his empty room. The hotel spreads they got in WWE were almost always incredibly impressive, fully furnished and much too big for one person. AJ used to travel around with his friends Karl and Luke from show to show, so it wouldn’t be quite so big feeling, but once they were separated, he stuck to traveling alone and staying in rooms alone.

He enjoyed the silence most of the time, only really regretting his decision when it was bedtime.

Suddenly, he heard what sounded like knocking at his hotel room door. Surprised (and slightly paranoid), he crept over to the door, one of his wrestling boots in hand.

It was common for fans to just knock on their doors and snap a picture of them in whatever state of dress they were in. He kind of loved the attention, if he were being honest, often smiling brightly and posing for whatever pic they wanted before sending them on their way. Just not well into the evening after a hard day at work.

"Chris?!" The blonde wrestler, looking tired as anything, was standing before him with an overnight bag and some takeout. The RAW guys were supposed to be hours away from him, and yet there he was at his door.

Too stunned to speak, he just stood in the doorway like a dummy, blocking the only way inside. Chris shuffled his feet before giving AJ a classic Jericho look that said are you really doing this right now?

"Surprise! Now let me in, man. It was a bit chilly outside and I want to get warmed up." AJ stepped aside, still a bit off kilter to really object. One thought was spinning around his brain as he watched Jericho step into the kitchen and dish out the food he brought (AJ's favorite).

"Not to sound rude or anything, because I’m certainly happy you’re here, but what are you doing here?" Chris ignored him in favor of setting up the plates, pouring some water for AJ and some alcoholic drink for himself. He then handed off one plate before hopping up on the counter with his.

For a few seconds they ate in silence, AJ watching Jericho and Jericho watching him. Finally, Chris sighed and set down his fork.

"I'm here because you ignored my texts, Styles. I'm here because you don't seem fine to me, no matter how much you try to brush me off. I'm here because I miss your fucking face so much on RAW. And I'm here because I was starving in my hotel room, flipping through the channels like I do, and the only thing I wanted to eat was your favorite dish at your stupid favorite restaurant." AJ's eyebrows shot up to his hairline as Jericho spoke, a million and five questions bouncing around his skull.

He didn't utter a word. Chris stuck his tongue out at him, chewed up food on display, making AJ giggle before scooping another bite onto his mouth. (Chewing like an adult unlike SOME people)

"So what's up? Smackdown not the haven they all said it'd be?" He scoffed haughtily, making AJ smile a bit. "Figures. It's cause I'm not there. No show is complete without Jericho!"

"Too true, babe. But actually the show is fine. It's just, I don't know. Lately I've been feeling like....like I don't matter. Especially since Cena came back. It's like.....now that he's back, AJ Styles is irrelevant and unimportant. No one seems to care if I'm there or not. The fans still like me, but the guys..." He trailed off as a stormy look took over Chris' face. A look he's not sure he'd ever seen before. Surprised at the reaction, he rushed to finish his thought and hopefully get the murderous look off the usually relaxed face before him.

“But obviously I knew this would happen since it’s CENA! I’m just a bit down about it because I was the champ and now I’m just second tier to the face that runs the place, you know? But I know that’s how WWE is...I guess I’m just a bit thrown off is all.” AJ gently kicked his legs back and forth as he watched Chris’ features for any change. Instead of looking relieved, he noticed in a bit of panic, the Canadian’s face was nearly the shade of a lobster, brows scrunched down and lips twisted into a nasty snarl that had Styles wishing he could eat his words instead of the delicious food on his plate.

He really needed to think before he spoke more often.

"I didn’t think I was going to have to, but I’m going to punch every single one of those idiots in their ugly fat faces as soon as I see them. Why didn't you say anything to me last time we talked? You know I would have told you all the ways you matter to the company, to the show, and to me." Thick clouds of silence, save for scraping forks, settled between them, Chris clearly brooding and thinking of all the ways he could take down each and every member of the SmackDown Live Roster, while AJ merely watched him in a stunned stupor and chewed his food robotically.

After they finished eating, which was somehow too long and yet not nearly long enough, Chris hopped down off the counter and set their empty plates in the sink, eyes narrowed as AJ watched the gears in his mind turn. The last of his amber drink was swallowed down quickly before he finally turned to the brunette and tugged his wrist gingerly. The southerner felt his eyes widen as Chris motioned his head towards the room where the bed was, eyes falling back to their soft gaze and twinkling humor.

"Let's get you ready for bed so I can tell you all the way you matter, hm? Then we can put on a show and we can forget about all the idiotic asshats you work with. And for." Styles lamely tried to fight him off, maybe demand he leave so that he wouldn't be tired for the house show he certainly had the next few days, but the Canadian was apparently determined to keep him company. Warm fuzzy bubbles swirled through his chest, wings of affection unfurling under his ribcage, though he tried to hide it as he stumbled behind the black leather jacket and thinning blonde hair.

The responsible grown man side of him said Jericho was just being a great friend, but the twelve year old crush side couldn't help but squeak in delight because Chris Freaking Jericho is here. He's taking care of me. Comforting me…

But, he was a very grown up adult, so he stuffed those thoughts away and waited for whatever it was Chris was up to. At that moment, with his head in the clouds, he would probably do just about anything the other man asked. Chris tugged open the plain black duffle bag that held AJ’s clothes for the night and pulled out a pair of comfortable sleep pants. A toothbrush and minty toothpaste were set on top of the black fabric, which AJ just stared at until he was pushed towards the glaring white light of the pristine bathroom with a familiar laugh ringing in his ears.

When he stepped back into the room, mind in a daze from the events of the night and foggy from exhaustion, Chris was laid out on the bed, wrapped in comfy sweatpants and wearing no shirt at all. AJ’s eyes roamed over the artwork stitched into his left arm, blues and reds jumping out at him while his fingers flexed in his discarded clothes. It was annoyingly distracting to see the man of his dreams lazed about in fluffy blankets, eyes trained on the television before him.

Apparently Styles made some noise, attracting the attention of his new roommate. Chris looked over to AJ expectantly, a bright look falling into one of playful annoyance.

"Styles, are you really wearing that smelly shirt from the ring? I’m not sleeping next to something that smells like fifty sweaty beefy men rolled all over you, so get that thing off right now." He motioned to the sort of gross shirt AJ had left on absently, wriggling his brows and motioning with his fingers for him to take it off. That was enough to make his cheeks flush, fingers now strangling the fabric in his hands. He shifted his feet and looked away briefly.

"Um....." Chris' eyebrow rose towards his hairline, lips tilted into a smirk.

"What? You parade around shirtless in front of millions of people every day for a living, and you obviously change out in front of the guys.” His eyes softened, smirk bleeding into a warm smile. “Im your friend, AJ. I won't judge you or make fun of you, no matter what. I promise. No need for this… trepidation." The flush that had bloomed under his skin was now flaring up his neck and across his chest. All this mushy talk was making him slightly uncomfortable, if only because he wasn't used to it from an older man; much less Chris. The teasing was more his style.

And it wasn't like AJ was self-conscious about his physical appearance. He worked hard for his body, eating the right things and researching all the best workouts to really build up his physique. While he didn’t particularly want to know, he saw plenty of incredibly vulgar tweets and dozens of crazy signs in the crowds each night, assuring him that the fans definitely thought he was hot. And that he had soccer mom hair.

So no, he wasn't really nervous about his body at all, though it was nice his best friend cared so much.

He was just nervous in front of Chris.

After about two minutes of just staring back at the raised brow the wrestler offered, AJ finally pulled the tight shirt off his body, snarling when the sleeves caught on his flexed arms and required more tugging. He suddenly wished he was as cool and effortless as Cena, whipping his rainbow assorted shirts off in the blink of an eye.

Once he had the shirt in his hands, pants discarded back in his bag, AJ playfully balled up the merch shirt and hurled it at Jericho, who laughed boyishly when he caught the shirt with little effort. Despite the relaxed atmosphere and traded smiles, the Georgia native still clung to his position by his bag, which had been discarded near the bathroom door.

It wasn't unusual for the guys to have to share rooms and, on occasion, a bed. It would be laughed off every time, jokes about keeping their hands to themselves and warnings about bed hogging or blanket stealing were tossed back and forth like grenades on a battlefield, and then sleep would take over. But this was slightly different than those times.

Chris and AJ had shared a few times before, so that wasn't really new. Styles had a habit of apparently whimpering in his sleep a lot, so Chris would sneak in and soothe him by rubbing his hair. The older man had admitted, after the first time, it was not something he normally did, and it was extremely awkward considering what he knew about Styles’ feelings, but his need to comfort him had won out. AJ couldn't quite place what made this time so different after the dozens of other times Chris had hung out on his bed, but it kept his feet rooted firmly in place.

Through the battle happening in his head, he noticed Chris just kept watching him, blue eyes tracing over his face curiously. The worn skin of the man's face softened the longer they stood there opposite of each other, usually sly lips grinning brightly at him.

A genuine Chris Jericho smile.

"Ya gonna stand there all night Styles, or are you gonna come sit with me so we can watch your damn show?" The lighthearted teasing was turned serious when his eyes narrowed slightly in concern, as if assessing if AJ was really okay. Not wanting to worry the man any further, AJ nodded more times than was probably needed and took somewhat jerky steps to the bed. He brushed off the sharp eyes and soft voice, throwing blame to the exhaustion clinging to his body for this odd behavior, and prayed to the Lord above Chris did the same.

Just no more explaining. No more worried looks or chewed up lips. He wanted two best friends to just enjoy a freaking show.

After a beat of silence, AJ watching Jericho flip through the channels at a pretty rapid pace (which made him think Chris wasn't really paying attention to the television), the Canadian finally sighed and sat up against the pile of pillows behind him, fingers tapping on the covers while he worked over whatever lecture he had this time.

(It used to happen pretty often, much to AJ's chagrin, these little sessions with Chris where he sat him down and figuratively slapped some sense into him. He was used to it at this point, would have seen it coming had he not been distracted by his own fluttering heart. He was such an idiot sometimes it was-)

He snapped back to reality when a hand was waved in front of his face, apparently trying to catch his attention. Pulling his knees up to his chin and resting his cheek on the soft cotton of his sweats, he turned to see Jericho worriedly scanning his face again, though his lips were twisted in slight annoyance.

"See? This is what I was talking about! You always wander off into your own head and never let anyone in. We're best friends, Allen. You can trust me with anything. All those negative thoughts I know you have? Share them with me so I can replace them with positive ones. Tell you how smart you are, how creative you are in the ring, or how modest and humble you are about such an impressive career! Not many guys here are like that! It's refreshing to know someone who doesn't have a big head like me or Mike..." He stopped to offer a relieved smile when AJ let out a reluctant chuckle.

"You can't beat yourself up over those lies your brain tells you. The company brought you here because you are the Phenomenal AJ Styles! Not because you were the last resort. Not just to fill a spot or bridge a gap. You deserve everything you've been given. Sure, Cena's back....but Cena's cloud always blocks out others’ light. Its not his fault, and I know how much he really hates how that happens, but it's just how he's made. I mean, you're one of the best guys on the show right now, and I'm not just saying that!" AJ let himself laugh a little louder this time, raising his head off his knees to look at Chris straight on.

Like he said before, the man was his saving grace. The only reason he made it this far in WWE. No matter what, he'd always love and appreciate that about him.

"Y’know, I thought we agreed on no more sappy talks in hotel rooms late at night? That it killed the chilled out vibe you demand after a show." Diverting the deep conversation to jokes and humor was a defense mechanism he'd developed quite early in the wrestling industry. It was necessary if one wanted to make it with thick skinned meat-heads and sharp tongued managers. Jericho's face fell slightly though, making AJ want to suck the words back up and say something else; again, idiot.

"Allen...." AJ waited for him to continue, but the Canadian just shook his head, a sad smile tugging at his lips. Chris then turned back to flipping through the channels, grumbling about stupid channels and damn hotel cable. Usually, AJ would be amused, maybe even join in with complaints of his own since the stupid hotels they stayed in never had any channels they liked, but the whole evening had left him confused and slightly embarrassed, so he tucked his chin between his knees again and focused on the television before him.

The rhythmic flipping of channels lulled his mind into a trance, the dark corners of his mind reaching out to him. He hated that he fell for the voices that screamed you'll never be good enough. It's why no one wants you! and You were just the stand in for better talent. You're pathetic for thinking otherwise, but it was like he couldn't help it; that he had to listen for some reason.

What he hated most of all was how easy it was to slip down into those negative thoughts again, even after Chris had said otherwise with incredible conviction. He liked to think Jericho wasn't just saying stuff to make him feel better, that those fiery blue eyes were blazing with fondness and affection for him, but someone as amazing as the blonde wrestler next to him, flipping through channels and cursing every few seconds, never looked twice at a redneck WWE wannabe like him. It was just the way life worked. AJ was destined to continue his spiral into self-destruction while Chris moved on to better and brighter things. He'd accept it. Eventually.

It was a wonder the singer, wrestler, and apparently author hung around AJ at all. With a quiet huff of air, he turned away from the television and slithered under the soft white covers, arms wrapped in fluffy pillows under his head. He made sure he kept his back to Chris, who was humming something softly.

He'd hate for him to have to see a grown man cry after all.

The constant channel changing stopped after that, signaling Jericho probably found a show he'd want to watch since he wasn't forced to find something they both enjoyed any longer. AJ felt hot tears slide down his cheeks and stain his pillow, energetic brain recycling the nasty thoughts over and over until his vision went completely blurry and his nose became runny. Not wanting to alert the man next to him, who was strangely silent despite the show sounding like it was a hilarious cartoon they watched together on occasion, he tried to discretely wipe his face with his pillow. Disgusting, but effective.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably just a couple of minutes, Chris heaved up out of bed, groaning as he (probably) stretched his tired body out before leaving the room. The thought of the man leaving him, no matter how much AJ felt he didn't deserve the comfort, made his heart clench despite himself. Whimpers that seemed to echo in his mind were pressed into his pillow, something like hot stakes pressing into his chest and eyes as the thought of being completely alone took over. He felt utterly empty now, like someone had removed all of his organs and left him to rot. Though his eyes still burned like hot embers, the tears dried up as fast as they'd come.

Jericho was leaving, probably having better things to do than entertain an idiot like himself, so AJ would be alone. Pathetically alone. Again.

Just as his eyes refilled their tear ducts, ready to overflow, his ears picked up scratching footsteps, followed by the television being shut off. The suddenly too bright lights were cut, the dull pain behind his forehead lessening significantly. He tracked the soft footsteps carefully, brows scrunching at something shuffling near the end of the bed, but his brain suddenly halted all activity when the bed dipping down just behind him.

He was about to ask Chris why he was still there (with a crybaby idiot his brain added unhelpfully) when a muscular arm wrapped confidently around his middle and yanked him closer. Back to front with the one person he always wanted but knew he couldn't touch, not in the way he wanted, AJ had to bite his lip to keep the whimpers from trickling out. Calloused fingers sprayed across his belly, holding him steady against the solid warmth behind him.

It was all so perfect, and yet he couldn't help but feel like he was suffocating in those arms, under the blankets, next to that body.

At freaking thirty-seven years old, he thought he would be tougher than that. Silly heartbreak and comforting cuddles shouldn't be what breaks him when he spent days, weeks, years in between plastic cables with men trying to take his head off.

But honestly? AJ was tired of hiding. Tired of putting on his mask and pretending he was okay. Tired of the stress and the pressure of the business.

AJ Styles was just tired.

He figured Chris had gone right to sleep, so he nearly jumped out of his skin when the man whispered softly into his ear. A toe pressed against his leg for a second before slipping away.

"Been working on a new Fozzy song lately. Little different than some of the others. The guys love it, of course, but I'm just not so sure about it." AJ wanted nothing more than to really take hold of the moment, cuddle back into the familiar body behind him, so he steeled himself and shifted back slightly, pleased when Jericho didn't move away or run screaming from the bed. In fact, that hairy arm tightened around his waist slightly, and their legs became twined together like tree limbs in a storm.

"It's a bit of a more personal record, y'know? I don't do too many of those since I like to keep my personal life out of the business, whether WWE or music, but I just couldn't help it. My inspiration would stare me in the face for hours and I couldn't just ignore it like I wanted to." AJ smiled softly, the slightly roughened voice of his best friend soothing his inner demons and allowing him to relax more. Just as he was really drifting off, Jericho spoke again, barely speaking in a rumbling whisper that sent chills along his spine.

"Are you going to tell me what was upsetting you just a few minutes ago? It's not what I said was it? Y'know I only want what's best for you Styles. I'd never purposefully hurt your feelings or anything...." AJ stiffened at the question, his body flushing head to toe. Not only had he failed to conceal his detrimental thoughts and pathetic crying, he failed to keep this man from worrying over him. Just add that to the list of things AJ failed at.

He had to clear out his throat, which suddenly felt raw and overused despite his silence for the past half hour, though he didn't have to lightly settle his hand over Chris’ while he spoke. He still did though, because he was vulnerable and upset. Hopefully that strength Chris carried would transfer.

"Dunno. Just thinking things I guess." He wondered briefly if he should elaborate or simply drop it. Sure Chris might pursue, push AJ until he was spilling his guts (again), but considering how late it was, how upset he probably sounded, he figured he just might get let off the hook this time. With a mental oh fuck it, he traced a finger lightly over Chris' hand and continued.

"It's just that, these thoughts of me being an absolute failure and a complete idiot just keep spinning around my head. Telling me I'm not good enough for the company mostly, but also in regards to people. I know it's stupid, but I can't seem to stop them from bothering me. I don't usually cry though. Chris, I am just so tired all the time. Keeping up this act, working day in and day out in the ring, and being lonely for most of it, well, it's just wearin' me out, y'know? I know I sound like a crybaby now." He paused for a moment to take a breath, fingers trailing up Jericho's arm. Salty tears trekked down his cheeks again when he continued.

"You've helped a lot with that though. Just, like, when you're talking and stuff. People probably don't tell you this often, but I find your voice really soothing. Actually that sounds stupid forget it." He felt his cheeks warming and if there was any light, there would probably be a scarlet blush across his face.

Jericho surprised him, yet again, by linking their fingers together and leaning closer, chest pressed into his back a bit harder. Skin buzzed excitedly and his blood sizzled with the contact, though he tried to control his breathing and heart rate. No need scaring Chris off with stupid feelings and stupid reactions his stubborn body had.

"That....Allen I....you never said! I knew you were having bad thoughts at times, but I had no idea it was that bad. I wish I had known, though it is nice to know that at least I can help; that my random ramblings are appreciated." He paused, fingers flexing between AJ's. Affection bloomed sharply in his chest when an amused laugh stumbled into the room.

"I often wondered if I get on your nerves with my stupid commentary and random conversations. You never said anything so I really just hoped you at least smiled at the stories I told. Now that I know you like it, and that it helps keep those voices away, I'll definitely be calling you up over stupid things more often." AJ rolled his eyes, not that Jericho could even see it, though secretly he was dying over how just amazing this guy was. Like, seriously? He was caring, hilarious, talented, and the best best friend ever. AJ would most certainly hate him if he didn't already really love him.

"I'll hold you to that Y2J. Now if you'd be so kind as to shut up, I need my beauty sleep. We both have got a big day tomorrow." There was a beat of silence, though not as charged as before, before what felt like a forehead pressed against his shoulder, something he didn't quite catch breathed out against his bare skin. He went to ask, but Chris only hushed him softly and snuggled into him. The day weighed in on him again, though this time the comfort of a caring soul clutching his body protectively kept him afloat, so he merely hummed something happier than he usually felt and crashed into sleep.

***

Jericho was still wide awake for a long while after AJ fell asleep, soft snores filling the dark room. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through the long brunette hair while his brain did sprints in his head.

How had he never seen how upset and tired Allen was all the damn time? How had he not noticed anyone treating him differently? How could he be so blind to things happening to someone so amazing? He was struck with intense and withering guilt, so he made a promise to always protect the sensitive soul underneath those deliciously thick muscles and brilliant blue eyes. Fierce emotion burned under his skin, demanding he pull the slumbering AJ impossibly closer into his chest, skin shivering hotly at the contact. The southern man stirred slightly, mumbling in his sleep and trying to turn over. His resolve hardened when he got a good look at the tear tracks on his face, the bags under his eyes, and the overall worn out look of the younger man.

No one was going to hurt his AJ again. He didn't care what it cost him; he was going to protect him no matter what. With Styles curled into his chest, arms trapped between them, Chris kissed the top of his head and wrapped his arms around him before falling asleep.

***

AJ woke up to an empty bed, which wasn't out of the ordinary really. What was strange, however, was the scent of frying bacon floating through the air. Not being a sleep cooker, he tried to figure out who in the world was making food in his kitchen when the night before came back to him suddenly.

Chris...

He'd never jumped out of bed faster, eager to both see the wrestler and to get his hands on the bacon that was making his stomach growl. With a quick detour to the bathroom, he was sauntering out of the room with a joy he'd never experienced at seven in the morning.

He entered the kitchen to see Chris at the stove, sporting a Metallica shirt and thick black sweatpants, flipping a few strips of bacon with a fork. A platefull was already on the counter, which AJ made a beeline for. Before he could even snatch one, a fork was smacked to the back of his hand and an unimpressed Chris was tsking him.

"Now now Allen, you’re gonna have to wait until all the food is done. Breakfast rules." AJ rolled his eyes, though he was just really freaking happy. Happy Chris was still here. Happy there was bacon and eggs waiting for him. Happy he wasn't alone for the first morning in a long time.

"But Chris...." He dragged the "i" out, letting a little whine slip into his voice so that Chris would give in and let him take some. Unsurprisingly, Jericho sighed and handed him a strip of bacon. AJ munched on it, smiling brightly when Chris rolled his eyes at him.

"You're so damn- ugh I can't ever say no." He turned back to the stove, adding the four strips in the skillet to the plate before clicking off the burner. He sorted the bacon onto two more plates before scooping out scrambled eggs between them. Satisfied, he turned around, the two plates in hand, offering one to AJ. They both made their way to the table, forgoing their usual habit of watching the television while they ate. It was strange, but AJ loved it.

"So...how did you sleep, Styles?" Chris asked as he stabbed his fork through some eggs, eyes watching AJ carefully. Shrugging, AJ felt a smile forming before he could stop it. He hadn't even had his coffee yet and he was just so awake and so happy.

"Okay okay; it was probably the best sleep I've had in a really long while. I feel ready to get up out of this chair and start doing leaps across the room- not that I'm going to." he added the last bit when Jericho's eyebrows waggled in a challenging way. Through the crunching of his bacon in his ear, he could just make out the too bad cuz that would be something Chris mumbled to himself before nibbling on a strip of bacon.

Now that AJ was was really paying attention, he realized Chris seemed distracted, or something.

"So how did you sleep then?" The Canadian rubbed a hand over his mouth to brush the grease and crumbs out of his trimmed facial hair before fixing AJ with a serious look.

"I slept pretty well actually. It was nice sharing with someone again. But, well, it did take me a while to fall asleep. Before you ask, I was just thinking about work and all that. Speaking of which..." He rose out of his seat to check the time on the stove and groaned.

"We have to get going soon. You have to get to, Philly, if I remember correctly. And I have to find out what damn hotel I'm staying at in Washington D.C." AJ nodded his agreement, though he wasn't about to let go of the fact that Chris had stayed up much later than he had. Probably had to do with me. I’m always worrying him to death.

"Now AJ, don't you start that pouting stuff. I want a smile, grin, or smirk on your face at all times. This is a happy day! Well, it's a travel day so that sucks, but you get my point. Don't worry about me, 'kay?" Then Chris narrowed his eyes mischievously at him, slowly lifting a piece of bacon to point it at AJ.

"Ya dig??" AJ laughed, a fully belly kind that reverberated through your chest and warmed your cheeks, smacking the bacon out of Jericho's hand before snatching it up and sticking it in his mouth. He jokingly leaned forward with the bacon hanging from between his teeth, grinning madly and waggling his eyebrow. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but it was better than entertaining the thoughts creeping up on him.

To his surprise, and utter delight, Chris laughed, leaned forward, and grabbed the other end of the strip with his teeth.

For a few awkward seconds, AJ sat there dumbfounded, eyes wide and cheeks slightly flushed, as Chris stared back at him, a challenge behind those wild eyes. AJ wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, if anything, so he did what AJ did best; he stared back.

Eventually, the older wrestler severed the strip, maneuvering the excess bacon into his mouth with just his tongue and teeth, which fascinated the shit out of AJ, before settling back down into his seat. Something crossed over his face, through those expressive eyes, the longer they sat there, though AJ was having a hard time deciphering it.

Before he knew it, the blonde was rising from his chair, plate leaving the table by way of thick fingers and a warm palm, and as he passed, the other hand briefly fingering strands of his messy chestnut hair.

AJ quickly stuffed the bacon in his mouth once he was fully in the kitchen, heart drilling like a jackhammer against his sternum. Chris was right though; they had to get moving.

***

"Now the second you get to your hotel in Philly, you better call me. Don't make me drive my ass up there again, Allen." AJ shuffled his feet at Chris’ teasing, guilt tossing the contents of his stomach around. They were dragging their luggage towards their vehicles, the early morning sunlight splashed across the parking lot as they walked together, Jericho already sporting his signature sunglasses while AJ pulled on his baseball cap.

Their vehicles were thankfully right by each other, the beat up red pickup truck with red mud caked along the frame in the spot next to the snazzy looking shiny black convertible with the top down. One glance at the pair and a stranger wouldn't think these cars would be owned by two guys who were best of friends, but the world had a weird sense of humor when it came to people.

Chris broke away, the rumble and drag of the wheels dragging across the smooth pavement the only sound aside from the twittering early birds, while AJ hauled his bags into the cab of his truck. With the slam of a metal door and the dull thud of heavy bags falling onto leather seats, the creeping shadow of goodbye was falling over them.

How was he supposed to carry on like he was fine when he was dreading the drive ahead?

"Chris, I swear on my old dog Smokey's grave that I will call you the SECOND my engine is off. Not a moment later." Chris offered a crooked smile, rolling his eyes at the dramatics, before pulling him into a tight embrace. Despite the calming arms wrapped around his shoulders, AJ couldn't help but look around the lot frantically, checking to be sure no eyes were watching too closely. Chris might not care what people thought, but AJ did - a lot.

"Good. Cant have you ignoring me anymore. Now before you go, I actually have something for you." His feet felt frozen to the pavement despite the sunlight quickly warming the air around as he watched Chris shuffle around in a backpack for a few moments before producing a CD case. The older man examined it for a moment before holding it out to him, teeth pinched into his bottom lip and cheeks dusted a curious pink.

Would Chris ever stop confusing him?

"It’s just- it’s a little mixed CD of songs that sounded good and made me think of you. I, um, made it a little while after we broke up Y2AJ. I actually meant to give it to you a long while ago, but I haven't been able to until now. For some various reasons." AJ gingerly took it out of Jericho's hands, unable to take his eyes off of it. Was he dreaming? Was this even his real life?

“I've been debating the best time to finally give it to you, and it was last night I finally felt it was time to, um, share it with you.” AJ flicked his gaze up to those nervous eyes and chapped lips while he tucked the clear case into his bag, curious and scared and oddly dizzy. The brunette shoved his hands into the pocket of his thick sweatshirt, lips forming a reassuring smile he wasn't really aware of.

"I'll listen to it on the drive to Philly. I'm sure it's amazing. you." Chris wasn't looking at him though, instead staring off to his left towards the traffic lining up on the highway. AJ felt the butterflies stir in his tummy, eager to get in the car and listen to the disc. Jericho shuffled his feet a centimeter closer to AJ before shifting his gaze, full of trepidation and excitement, back on Styles.

"I'm trying to decide something real quick. Give me a sec here." Jericho mumbled, eyes blazing a hot trail down his body before closing briefly. When they snapped open again, he grabbed AJ's hands in one of his. Utterly flabbergasted, AJ just kept his gaze on those glowing hazel eyes that were sweeping over his face frantically before finally settling on his chin.

"I was going to take the coward's way out of this situation...but you really deserve better from me.” He paused, hands flexing a little in his hands as if he were uncomfortable. AJ squeezed back, hoping to calm the older man, despite his burning eagerness to hear what he was going to say.

“Okay here we go. Don't interrupt. Something that I really admire about you is that you aren’t afraid to put yourself out there, even if it means looking like a fool or getting your feelings hurt. It’s something that, in all my years, I’ve only seen a few times, and in very few people.” AJ felt his eyes widen as Chris spoke, confusion bubbling up painfully in his chest. What was Jericho even talking about? What situation? AJ was so caught up in his thoughts that he missed part of what Chris was saying.

"....and when you told me how you felt, I knew I wasn't reading the situation wrong. I wasn't alone. But, I also wasn't ready to face the truth then, and not really so much now, so I lied to you, rejected you before you could get your hopes up to save myself. It was shitty and I'll always regret it, especially with the knowledge of the situation at the time." He paused, AJ trying to absorb what Chris was saying as quickly as he could. His mind was oddly blank, though his knees felt about ready to buckle out from beneath him.

"I didn't want to confront it before, so I made you that disk one really late night" he motioned to where AJ had stored it away "to be able show you how I felt when I was ready. You have no idea how scared I was when we were wrestling together; scared of what I felt for you in such a short amount of time. Terrified of ruining everything we've worked so hard to achieve." Chris pulled his hands away from AJ’s frozen ones and shoved them into the pockets of his ridiculous black skinny pants, cheeks still a rosy shade that AJ sort of adored.

"That is why I drove here from my hotel, about three hours away by the way. Not that I was counting. I needed to be with you because it was like a jab to the stomach to see you so down on yourself.” The brief confidence he'd seemingly gathered for his speech suddenly fell away, eyes looking just about anywhere but AJ.

“I- I know it's probably too late for me, and I don't expect you to forgive me either, for hurting your feelings, but I just- I couldn't keep it in any longer, y’know? I couldn't keep pretending my feelings weren't real, so I practiced what I would say to you the whole drive here, and I made sure my CD was still where I'd left it the one time I tried to give it to you…" he didn't even get to finish before AJ was throwing his arms around his shoulders, squeezing the breath from his lungs. It was brief, considering who they were and where they were talking, but it was enough to erase the uneasy shimmer in Chris’ eyes and expel some of the pent up energy AJ was suddenly feeling.

"Too late? You honesty think I could have moved on that quickly from your ridiculousness? I don't thing you realize how…..charming you are to people! This gift of Jericho crap you talk about on RAW is very real, my friend. I mean, don’t you think I could have picked up someone else if I had really wanted to? It surely hasn't been from lack of attention. I didn't want anyone else." Chris’ eyes lit up like stars while he spoke, bitten lips curling up into that familiar Jericho smile that everyone, AJ included, loved to see. It was so liberating to finally lay his heart out, knowing that this time he wouldn't be pushed away. Keeping secrets was not his forte.

"No one else in the locker room can cheer me up quite as well as you can. I have yet to see anyone proudly wear a stupid anchor scarf and Lite Brite jacket while still maintaining that aura of utter coolness like you. The catering on Smackdown doesn't carry the stupid dessert you made up and got me hooked on, so I have to make it in my hotel later on.” Chris laughed, arms crossing over his puffed out chest, eyes twinkling. Despite knowing he should stop, let Chris speak again or perhaps just get on the road, the words kept pouring out. They'd been pent up too long, he thought with an ache in his chest; it was time to really lay it all down.

“Wrestling wise, you were the first one to break me in when I came from TNA, all high up on my own push. Two stiff matches and I finally got the hint. Afterwards, you were the one who introduced me to everyone in the locker room, while also giving me a tour of the arena we were at; a couple of times if I remember. You helped this clueless southerner in every town we went to, showing me the best places to eat, the best places to go sight seeing, and which hotels were worth the money! Unlike other people I've worked with, you didn't let me leave without some helpful criticism, which is why my combo move flows so much easier now. You've been there for me since my debut, and I'm ever so grateful, but it's so much more than that. I really love ya man." A pause hung between them for a second as AJ gathered himself for the final piece of his speech before possibly running for the hills.

“I don't really know when it happened or what exactly caused it, but I remember one night of us working over those idiots in the New Day, that I was feeling something stronger than friendship for you. That the swell in my chest wasn't just from a well executed finisher I got to watch you do time and time again, or when you tossed a sharp barb at those clowns, it wasn’t just pride in my tag team partner. I knew what that feeling meant. And I'm terrible at keeping my feelings controlled, so I made myself confess them.” He shrugged, catching the pinched look on Jericho’s face briefly but not mentioning it. They'd both made mistakes in their lives; there was no sense dwelling on it.

“I spent a lot of time, these last few months, really beating myself up over putting myself out there like that to a man that was clearly out of my league, and more than likely not even interested. I mean, you hadn’t really shown any signs of, y’know....plus it was all new to me too, which made things more complicated than they really should have been for me. Anyway, I knew back then that I was fooling myself, thinking I'm gonna live some fake fairytale life with you when we're in a business that doesn't offer a lick of privacy. I don't blame you for what you did. I only wish I'd thought my actions through more back then.” Not even two seconds after the words left his lips did he get the shock of his life. Devious crystal eyes met his, stupid smirk slashed across the handsome face before him as AJ fumbled to regain any composure he’d had during their chat.

“Did you just....kiss me?”

"I was getting really tired of waiting for you to finish that beautiful speech of yours so I could do the gentlemanly thing and ask permission. Sometimes brevity is a good thing, Styles.” AJ rolled his eyes at the scraping pinched tone Chris delivered his surname in, opting to draw away slightly to calm his pulsing blood and flaming cheeks. A raised brow greeted his eyes once he dragged them up from his boots, and there was a blaze of emotion behind those eyes the longer he looked. He fiddled with his keys as silence once again washed over them, thick as the fog in Georgia at sunrise.

“Sorry, I just- I needed a little air. I mean, yeah there’s air everywhere obviously, but I felt like I was going to choke if I didn’t move away...NOT that I was disgusted or anything, because I totally wasn’t! In fact, I was rather pleased to kiss you after so long. I mean, I don’t blame you for that obviously, I’ve been dreaming of this moment since I met you...okay that sounded kind of weird. Oh my gosh, this is why I don’t do these things.” He wanted to crawl into his truck and maybe drive off the nearest cliff, but Chris only offered that softer smile he saved for children or animals and shook his head as if to say ‘what am I going to do with you?’.

How could someone be so perfect?

“You’re fine, babe, but I don’t think we’ll be fine if we don’t get on the road soon. Vince will have our asses if we’re late to the show. Talk after?” Even though he asked a question, the air of confidence radiating from him said everything to AJ. At least someone was certain about their situation because he sure wasn’t. Especially after the kiss he still couldn’t quite believe happened in real life, and not behind closed eye lids.

“Of course. I’ve only been waiting a year now. What’s six more hours?” An eye roll followed by a snort was the only response to his little dig before he was being pulled into a tight embrace. The oxygen dried up instantly, tongue turning to sawdust as his arms wrapped around the body before him, hands flat against a warm muscular back he certainly didn’t dwell on too long. When they parted, fingers pinched the sensitive skin of his cheek, followed shortly by warm lips that were gone way too soon. Was this real life? Was the man of his freaking dreams actually returning affections? And initiating physical displays of attraction?

As they drifted towards their own vehicles, Chris actually SWAGGERING like he owned the fucking world or something (AJ wasn’t sure if that’s just how Chris walked, or if he was just that arrogant...in the best way of course), and AJ practically walking on air, he turned one last time to see the spiked blonde hair sliding into the driver’s seat, scarf fluttering into his lap. C’mon AJ: truck, drive, WWE.

“Drive safe, Styles. And you better fucking call me this time. Don’t want to barge up in your hotel again because I’m worried sick about you.” AJ peeked over the hood of his truck to see glittering blue eyes and that world-brightening smile. Still ever conscious of the status he carried and the wakening world around him, he clumsily offered a quick thumbs up and his own (not as charming) smile that hopefully kept him looking adult-like and friendly, even if it’s not quite how he really wanted to answer Chris’ parting words. And even with a ton of metal between him and the man, he still heard the snort he probably deserved.

They did just kind of have a heart-to-heart and lip-to-lip conversation in broad daylight. They were so in trouble.

 

Message from Bon Jovi Hair :P  
 _Still love ya…even after you just gave me a damn thumbs up. ;)_

 

Yeah, he was done for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> WOWIE what a story. I’ve been holding onto and tweaking this freaking fic for AGES now, and I’ve finally gotten the courage to post it here. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading it and I really hope you enjoyed my take on Styles and Jericho post-brand split. I mean, it was practically BEGGING for me to get it done. 
> 
>  
> 
> **If you have a fanfic request, feel free to share it in the comments. I’ll write anything you want (unless it’s something really explicit/offensive). Fandoms I’m not a part of, I will probably need more information on! :)**


End file.
